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There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. In the age of technology, with access to others being a message or call away, it seems like everyone knows everything about everyone. But is this perpetual access a good thing? Or do we need moments of solitude to decompress and center ourselves?

I’ll admit, I’ve been a victim of FOMO (fear of missing out) more than once. This fear, present during the COVID-19 pandemic while my friends attended school in-person and I remained online, was exacerbated by social media. The seemingly-delightful photos that flooded my feed made me long to be part of them. Being alone became a negative thing, and socializing was all I wanted. 

Though some argue that social media facilitates connection, too much scrolling produces the exact opposite effect. After all, it only shows what creators want to share, glorifying happy lives filled with adventure, travel, and people, and excluding mundane routines. The media’s depiction of what a “happy life” should look like has produced a society in which people fear being alone. Compared to the fun events and places we see online, being by ourselves seems isolating and lonely. 

After the pandemic, I dove headfirst into attending all the school sporting events, plays, and dances, in an effort to feel included. I joined clubs and teams, going all-in on every aspect of high school life. Though joining the social scene was rewarding at first, I noticed I was sacrificing other things I enjoyed. Activities that recharged my battery and grounded my thoughts—long solo walks, family movie nights, and cozying up with a good book—no longer had space in my daily routine.

With increased freedom and opportunity as I’ve grown, I find myself looking forward to, even hoping for, a Friday night alone or a Saturday with no plans. All I want is to be in the comfort of my home, not talking to anyone or doing anything. On weekends when my schedule is packed, I rush from event to event, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed leading into the next week. On the contrary, when I have time for myself, I feel recharged and motivated on Monday, ready to put my best foot forward.

Though the need for alone time varies depending on the individual, having space to relax, reflect, and recover by ourselves is not something to fear or look down upon. If even the thought of being alone makes you cringe, maybe it’s something worth trying. Just as athletes have rest days for their bodies to recover, we should normalize taking rest days for our minds to recenter. 

The next time you have nothing on your schedule, power off your devices. Light a candle, take out a journal, put on some relaxing music, and simply be in the presence of yourself.