Dear France,
We thought future history textbooks were already being printed. “The Nativist Revolution” would be the heading. The first subsection would be the United Kingdom. Second, the United States. Third, you guys.
We were positive your presidency was going to to be handed to Marine Le Pen, the far-right and anti-European Union candidate.
Until we did our research.
Your history is hallmarked with leftist movements. The French Revolution itself is radical in comparison to that of the U.S.
Your “republican front” has kept far-right nominees away from the table, as conservative parties have joined forces to prevent the power of extreme traditionalists.
History is known to repeat itself, so even a socialist president with a four percent approval rating and the inexperience and youthfulness of Emmanuel Macron, Le Pen’s counterpart, could not alter your population’s commitment to progressive ideals.
Macron won in dominating fashion with 65% of the votes.
We were happy for you, France. We knew the devastating consequences for Europe and the global economic and social landscape if Le Pen had succeeded.
But we must admit, there was a little part of us that was looking for a Le Pen victory.
You see, Americans and Brits feel alone. We have cast irreverent votes that will lead us into a certainly tumultuous future with repercussions that are far from certain. Misery loves company.
The British are begging for a revote. In an increasing complex international community, the United States now has “simple” leadership. The Trump presidency and Brexit have reaffirmed if not strengthened our countries’ negative stereotypes.
All we’ve wanted to do is defend against foreign mockery, but we now must realize that most stereotypes come to fruition out of reality.
Your pretentious population has laughed at our ignorance and lack of sophistication since the beginning of history, but we are done making excuses.
We concede. You are the intellectually superior.
And a bloody well to you,
The United States and United Kingdom
