Whether it’s collecting clothing to donate to children halfway across the world or holding open the door for someone, empathetic acts can inspire cooperation, community, and a general feeling of peace.
When Dr. Michele Borba began her talk about empathy last week, this appeared to be her message. By understanding each other and teaching the younger generation to be more accepting, we could slowly but surely chip away at the hate that is still prevalent in society. It’s an admirable message, and one that none of us expected to contest. And this remains true: we do not argue with the message that we assumed she was conveying.
During the presentation, however, that message got lost in its delivery.
Starting off with a story about Seeds of Peace that seemed to stretch and contort itself to fit in the rest of the presentation, Dr. Borba rattled off example after example of grand deeds of moral courage, which quickly became overwhelming. Armed with catchphrases that she wanted us to remember and studies from prestigious universities, the talk soon felt more like an advertisement to make a show of empathy than a call for change.
Still, her stories were inspiring, and it was both humbling and gratifying to see the effects of kids trying to make the world a better place. Unfortunately, it appeared that the recognition of their success was more important than their work.
Too much emphasis was placed on the fame and self-benefit that came with their actions, and the kindness behind starting positive Twitter accounts and donating pairs of glasses was soured by mentions of college applications and job offers.
Being told that doing service looks good on an application or resumé made the stories seem superficial rather than genuine, and twisted Dr. Borba’s message into a caricature of what empathy looks like at a private school.
Isn’t wanting to be a good person reason enough to be kind?
All of her stories were meant to inspire ideas for how we would change our community for the better. Yet, starting projects the size of those being presented to us didn’t sound feasible. While it’s incredible that some of these teens were recognized nationally, it felt like that level of grandeur had to be our starting point.
The effects of smaller acts of kindness were glossed over, even when those are the most accessible ways for us to show our empathy. As the anecdotes got more impressive, the students became less receptive to the idea that anyone can make a difference.
No matter how effective Dr. Borba’s talk was, she raised an issue that we do need to deal with. As a community, we need to practice showing more appreciation and empathy for the people around us. It’s so easy for us to feel entitled to the services and resources we have at Academy, and that needs to change.
So what can we do?
No matter what we might think, the little things do make a difference. Learn the names of the maintenance, lunch, and cleaning staff, and make sure to greet them when you see them. Respect your teachers, and thank them when you leave class. Think about it from their point of view: isn’t it nice to be acknowledged and valued for your work?
Along the same lines, make other people’s jobs easier. Clean up after yourself at lunch, and make sure the lounge spaces are clean. We don’t usually think about the people who pick up after us until we’re the ones dealing with someone else’s mess.
Define empathy for yourself, define it as soon as you can, and live by that definition.
It’ll take time, but with just a little more effort, we can change the attitude of our school as well.
Let’s prove that we don’t need to wait for the message to be handed to us to implement empathy in our daily lives. Prove that we can decode Dr. Borba’s message for ourselves.
