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“The Real on Relationships” with Mrs. DeCree

Under the leadership of our new Upper School Counselor, Shekyra DeCree, and Director of Diversity, Dr. Beckett Broh, Academy is hosting a five-part Community Café series aptly named, “The Real on Relationships.”

The goal of this series is to define what it means to be in a healthy relationship, learn the value of unapologetic communication, and emphasize the importance of setting healthy boundaries.

In the latest session of “The Real on Relationships,” held on Friday, April 15, DeCree sparked the conversation with a highly impactful video entitled “Because I Love You.” Created by the OneLove campaign, this video is a powerful display of how abusers use “love” as an excuse to control and manipulate their partners.

This type of controlling, possessive behavior is characteristic of co-dependent relationships. Psychology Today defines co-dependency as a union in which “both parties are over-dependent on each other. It’s a relationship in which the two individuals lean so heavily on one another that both of them are left ‘off-balance.”

DeCree noted three signs that show when are you are in a codependent relationship:

  1. You have to focus on the needs of the other person and cannot ask for what you want.
  2. You feel guilty or selfish for saying “No.”
  3. You feel that you can make the relationship work by fixing every problem on your own.

Co-dependency is dangerous because, as DeCree says, “You lose yourself for that other person.” When you become so preoccupied with trying to take care of your partner that you lose your identity and independence, DeCree advises that it is time to get out.

A co-dependent relationship, however, is only one in a myriad of unhealthy scenarios. It may not always be easy to identify the exact problem in a relationship, but DeCree advises that anytime you are feeling resentful of your partner or you find yourself complaining excessively about that individual, it is critical to step away.

It is important  to take every precaution in relationships. According to the OneLove campaign, one in three women and one in four men will find themselves in an abusive relationship at some point in their lives. Small issues can quickly transform into serious and destructive problems. If you do not stand up for yourself consistently and unapologetically, you could find yourself in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship.

To learn more, explore and attend the next session of “The Real on Relationships” which will take place on Friday, April 22, in Mrs. Bundy’s room during Activities Period.


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